Binge-Day Blues

Hi, I hope you’re all having a good day! It’s hump-day which means we’re halfway through the working week!

My day isn’t going so well, so I thought I’d do a little post to write about what’s going on and what my plan of action is.

Today, I binged. A binge for me is determined by how I feel when I’m eating rather than the actual amount of food consumed. It worked in a vicious cycle. I feel down so I eat, and then I feel even worse, so I eat some more. It gets to a point where I feel so rubbish about myself that I ‘give up’ and eat so much I feel physically sick. Luckily for me, I haven’t reached that point just yet.

My immediate thoughts at the moment are all about restricting and fasting. If I could just fast for the next day, I will lose the weight, right? but it’s not that simple anymore.

Starving would bring a temporary relief, but in the long run it will set me back loads in the recovery process.

There’s also the added factor that people around me know about my eating problems now, and they’re watching me like a hawk! It would definitely not go unnoticed if I ate less or suddenly lost a significant amount of weight. I’m glad that I told those around me, because eating disorders are such a secretive problem, it becomes very difficult when people are aware and keeping tabs on what you’re doing.

I’m trying to fight against these feelings because I know that I don’t want to go back down that route. I’ve come so far, and I don’t intend to go backwards again.

So, here’s the plan of action: I’m not going to plan out how much I’m going to eat tomorrow. I don’t need to ‘make up’ for what I’ve eaten today. I simply need to listen to my body and keep pushing to accept and love myself because feeling comfortable in your own skin is the best feeling going!

If you’re struggling today, I hope you find some comfort in knowing that you’re not alone, and you can turn it around!

-Holly.

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